I don't mind if you touch my belly
Now that I'm well into my third trimester at 30 weeks into this pregnancy, I've realized that I haven't actually sat down and written any reflections on pregnancy yet.
These beautiful maternity photos, taken by Hadassah Carlson, have inspired me to share what my experience has been. There are soooo many stereotypes around pregnancy, but the truth is that it's extremely different for each person. And to be honest, no two weeks have been the same throughout this wild ride for me either.
So I want to go through a chronological list of what stands out to me thus far, mostly from an emotional perspective (what else would you expect from an Enneagram 4??):
I pee on that little stick and two lines show up. I am surrounded by feelings of apprehension. Is it real? Should we be excited? Do we let ourselves get fully excited, even with the looming possibility of losing the baby this early?
We tell our closest friends and family, a lot of the nerves lessened and it was fun to celebrate. Although the sadness of little to no alcohol for 9+ months set in.
Decisions start. Do I stay on anxiety meds? Get off them? Get a second doctor's opinion? Get a third opinion? Where will I deliver? Is this the best choice?
More nausea, I start to accept a new normal of laying on the couch all day and doing nothing except eating pasta and watching TV in the evenings. Maybe I have the energy to share a meal with a friend, like once a week.
Secrets are the worst. Can we just tell everyone already??
I get the flu. I think it's morning sickness and babysit two families in the meantime. I actually think pregnancy will kill me and I cry on the phone with the doctor begging for some drugs.
Whoohoooo! We can finally announce that there's a baby growing in me because we've hit the second trimester. So so so excited.
Nausea lessens, migraines begin.
More migraines, back to my old new normal of doing nothing.
Buying maternity clothes is fun but also wow nothing fits. How much more can my boobs grow!??
We're having a BOY! I feel him kick! Everything feels new again. I thought there was a girl inside, I'm extremely thrown off and a little anxious but simultaneously equally happy because I can feel this precious babe moving now and it is SO reassuring.
We book a doula. I'm feeling less anxious than I was for a bit there.
It's so freaking hot out. I am melting. Lord give me one more watermelon.
Thank goodness for naps. Workload is light so I throw myself full force into taking care of myself: resting, swimming, yoga, then nesting when I have the time and energy.
Wow I feel chill about labor, this is going to be great! And then there's a baby waiting at the end of the process!
Wow, labor is terrifying. Can I do this?! Also, I don't know how to parent a child!!
What's wrong with me, of course I can do this! Women have been doing this since the beginning of time, of course I'll be fine.
But will I??
Get terribly intense, everlasting cold that causes me to pee myself every day. At least 3X.
I love how I look with a bump. It's fun getting special treatment. And also I want to make my belly more visible to show that pregnant bellies are very normal. Please, in fact, do touch it after asking me, because it's a really special thing and I want to share it.
Excited. Nervous. Are you almost here, baby? Wait, no stay in there, baby.
So that's the whirlwind that the past 7 months have been! Many thoughts. Many feels. Many changes. Enjoy these majestic photos.