Enneagram Two: The Helper
Today I'm bubbling with excitement to introduce to you one of my very favorite people in the whole world: Hanne Larson. I first got to know Hanne one summer while I was in college when I interned for her organization, Straight Ahead, and got to live with her family for two months. Hanne is one of those kind, wise people that you spend 10 minutes with and suddenly feel seen and loved and cared for. She is, in my opinion, an amazing example of a healthy Enneagram Two!
What is the Enneagram? Check out this post for an overview. What is an Enneagram Two? Well, simply put, they're The Helper. Their basic desire is to give and receive love. I hope my interview with Hanne helps shed some wisdom into your life, whether you're a Two or are close to a Two. Enjoy!
1. When and why did you first learn about the Enneagram?
"I first learned about it about 20 years ago we were in a couples' accountability group where we all took the test. I came out to be a Type Seven at the time. As I was reading all about it, it just didn’t seem to connect for me so I just let it go. Then 4 or 5 years ago, [my husband] Scott was meeting with a counselor who was using the enneagram and she suggested I retake the test since Scott already was sure he was a Three. In retaking the test I came out as a Type Two which right away connected for me."
2. How has the Enneagram impacted how you see yourself?
"It has helped me be more honest about my motives and has put some language to what I have always known to be true about me. It’s given me more permission to be me and it’s actually okay :)"
3. How has the Enneagram impacted the relationships in your life and how you view others?
"Knowing that people I love take in experiences and information through a different lens than me has made me more curious and less judging. Like, 'interesting... that’s a different way to come at it or respond to it. I hadn’t thought of seeing it though that lens'. It gives me more space and appreciation for the differences we have instead of focusing on right/wrong."
4. How do you most relate to your Enneagram?
"I really relate to the need to connect and experience love through connecting relationships. When I’m healthy my natural awareness of someone else’s needs gives me a great ability to connect and show love generously. Being a good listener and friend, and being able to pour into someone else’s life gives me great joy. I also love so much doing special things that I know a specific person would totally love!
"When healthy, I move toward a Type Four, being more reflective and in tune with my own needs and can vulnerably share them at the risk of not being heard or understood. When I’m unhealthy, I use the same ability to give of myself but in order to get my own needs met and get angry if my 'love' is not recognized, appreciated or reciprocated at least a little. I move toward a Type Eight under stress and get angry, firm and want to control you so you give me the love I want. Or I judge others for not being a 'loving' as me - oh my!!"
5. What's the biggest misconception about you or your type?
"That I’m always okay and I don’t need the same TLC others need. That’s basically because I give off that vibe. It’s safer than risking putting out my needs that may not be considered."
6. Answer the following: I feel loved when ____. I feel unloved when ___.
"I feel loved when someone takes the time to hear my heart and validate my feelings and then experience connection in hearing the other persons heart too. That’s my ultimate!!
"I feel unloved when I share my feelings and they are dismissed or minimized, when I feel alone in my pain. Or when I feel taken for granted."
If you'd like to learn more about Type Twos, I recommend this podcast.
Did you learn anything new or interesting from today's interview? Do you think you might be a Type? Are you married to a Type Two, perhaps? Let me know in the comments below!